World of Strangers

I come home in the evening and attempt to engage my kids in conversation. "How was your day? What did you learn in school?" Often, I get blank stares from them as they look up from whatever screen is in front of them at the time. "Fine. And nothing." And then back to the screen.

I go to Starbucks in the morning, and at the store I usually frequent, there are three men (besides me) who are "regulars." One is an older man who walks with a cane and stops in on his way to the Y. Another is usually there before me, and is often texting when I get there. The third knows everyone, and, in fact, I see him all over town. I have watched as they have attempted to engage others in conversation at Starbucks (including myself), others who usually have screens in front of them (like me). People are polite, but not often very responsive. Back to the screen.

I watch as people sit at tables in restaurants. Families gather, friends sit down, and everyone has their smartphones out. Everyone's present, but no one's talking...at least to the people who are with them. The phone beeps...and we feel we must respond. The text message comes in....we must see what it says. Someone sent me a Snapchat or a Facebook message? Much check it out!

Then along comes the church and invites people into community, into real relationships. Not virtual relationships (which do have some value), but real community. What is that? We seem to have forgotten. We're content to show up for an hour once a week (if that), and call it all good. Back to our screens. Back to our lives. And we wonder why our experience of "church" seems lacking somehow.

Don't get my wrong. I love technology (especially if it has an Apple logo on it). My "screen name" on a lot of sites is "teknopasto" (and there's a story behind that as well...but I digress!). I use technology (in fact, I'm using it right now!). But I, like many others, observe that we've entered an era where perhaps we've actually ceased using technology and have allowed it to start using us. We have, perhaps, become slaves to the machine and have increasing trouble with "real" relationships. And we wonder why we're lonely. We live in a world of strangers.

Here are some truths that may be hard to accept.
The phone doesn't have to be answered right then.
That text message can wait.
Snapchat and Facebook and Instagram and Twitter will all still be there when we get around to it.
But will the ones we claim to love?
Will they still be there "when we get around to it"?

I watched something fantastic happen at Starbucks the other day. The three gentlemen...well, they found each other. I watched the other afternoon as, one by one, they gave up on the rest of us and gathered together. I don't know if they had anything in common before, but they decided to find out if conversation—even friendship—was possible. And I was humbled, because I couldn't stop long enough to really engage any of them. So I'm trying to put the screen away more so I can do that, engage real people...or at least be open to the possibility.

Because, I don't know about you, but I'm weary of living in a world of strangers.

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