Honesty

Am I honest in all my acts and words, or do I exaggerate? (John Wesley's Holy Club Questions)

If you asked other people this question, asked them to answer it about you, you'd probably get a wide variety of questions. I've learned that people perceive "honesty" as "what I've already decided is true about you." But Wesley's question seems to get at a slightly different place than what we usually define as "honesty," because he's asking about how we projects to other or even how we perceive ourselves. This question, more than simple "truth telling," seems to reflect the directive of Paul in his letter to the Romans:

For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you. (Romans 12:3)

This question has to do with humility, the way we view ourselves and the way we portray ourselves to others. All of us have a private self and a public self. For some, there is very little difference between the two. For others, there is a huge gulf that makes it seem as if there are really two different people. But for most of us, the difference is somewhere in between. Just as indicated in the first question, we seem to always face the temptation to try to come off better than we are.

I see this among we preachers. When we're asked how things are going at our church, rarely do I hear anyone reply in terms of depth of spiritual experience. Rarely do I hear anyone talking about the ways people are growing in grace and love. Instead, we tend to reply with numbers. Membership. Worship attendance. Small groups. Whatever number is most impressive. And like good fishermen (I mean, come on, Jesus hung out with fishermen, right?), we tend to exaggerate or at least "round up." "The fish was THIS BIG." We'd rather talk about Easter (often the highest day) than Father's Day (a typically "low" Sunday).

It happens in other businesses as well. Profits are usually "up" or "just about to turn the corner." The product is "better than ever." This business plan is "just the one" that everyone needs. This candidate will solve all of our problems. Hope and change are all you need. And on and on it goes.

Or peruse Facebook. This new era of social media (that's not really new anymore) has given us all sorts of ways to exaggerate to more people than ever before. If most of the posts on Facebook were to be believed, everyone's life is perfect, every child excels, and every marriage is stable and happy. In the "book," we put our best "face" forward.

Yet, Paul says to not think of ourselves more highly than we ought. Humility is thinking rightly about ourselves, not exaggerating, but seeing ourselves and our life honestly. It's about remembering who we are and Whose we are. We don't have to try to make ourselves or our life look better than it is because we are already loved and accepted and wanted by God...anyone else's acceptance is simply gravy on the top! Think of yourself, Paul advises, with sober judgment...meaning we take an honest assessment of where we are, particularly in our relationship with Jesus, and seek to grow a little more each day.

If we accept that we are accepted, we won't need to exaggerate to others. All that ultimately matters is what Jesus thinks of us...and we've already been told he's crazy about us! I mean, he loved you enough to give his life for you...what greater proof do you need?

When I'm tempted to exaggerate, I'm trying to train myself to stop, look at the cross, and remember Jesus' acceptance of me. Ultimately, nothing else matters. Nothing.