That Loving Feeling?

We've just come through a holiday dedicated to "love." St. Valentine's Day (though today you rarely hear the "saint" in front of the name) has a long and curious history, and no one seems quite sure which man named Valentine is actually commemorated by the day. Regardless, the day that originally focused on the deeds and life of a Christian saint has been watered down to focus on love. Primarily romantic love or sexual love...represented in greeting cards, hearts, flowers, dinner out and 50 Shades of Grey...which just goes to show how much we, even in the church, have lost the real meaning of love.

Yes, the Bible's overarching command is to love. But the Bible knows very little if anything of what I call "greeting card love." However, even our language in the church has been "taken over" by the notion of warm, fuzzy feelings, kind gifts or doing something nice for someone. Rarely do we practice the Biblical definition of love. We talk about "loving on" people (whatever that means) and "showing people love." But do you remember how Jesus said we are to show people true love?

"Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends" (John 15:13). Lay down one's life. Self-sacrifice. Giving everything we have. Not just a hug. Not just a card. Not just a token of love. Giving of ourselves in a way that might even hurt, might cost us something.

Paul defined love this way: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails" (1 Corinthians 13:4-8a). And he gives that definition to a group of people in the midst of a church fight. In the midst of a time when people weren't loving toward one another. In the middle of someone spewing hatred at their brother or sister. Still, he reminds them, the calling is to love, to doing things and living in such a way that your preferences are not what matters first. Love until it hurts, and then keep on loving. You don't "love on" a person (again, whatever that means). You "love with" a person. You don't show love from a distance. You get up close and love them as they are, warts and all. And even when they disappoint you, you keep on loving.

Love is hard. Try reading the passage from 1 Corinthians 13 again and put your name where "love" is. And then when you wonder how you can possibly live out this kind of love, remember that you can't. Jesus can. And he is transforming you and making you more like him each and every day.

Love is not tolerance.

Love is not caring from a distance.

Love is not a greeting card.

Love is not sex.

Love is self-sacrifice. Only when we give of ourselves, as Jesus did, will others know we truly love them.