Alone

"Pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up" (Ecclesiastes 4:10b).

We live in a lonely world. We live in an isolated and isolating world. We have more people on planet Earth than at any time in history, and yet we are more alone than ever. We have more "friends" on social media than we can keep track of, and yet we are lonelier than ever. We have managed to isolate ourselves while at the same time having the capacity to be connected to every person in the human race. Where did we go wrong?

Some will blame technology. Others will blame our work schedules. Still others blame the day we stopped putting front porches on houses and moved to our back decks (inside our privacy fences). Any and all of those may have contributed to our loneliness, but it's too easy to blame other things.

The reality is: we're lonely because we have chosen isolation. We make choices that keep others out of our lives. We compete rather than cooperate. We make a living without making a life. We build a house without making a home.

Yesterday, I went with some friends for lunch at a restaurant that is known for, shall we say, catering to an older crowd. And, as I often do, I watched people while I also enjoyed the conversation around our table. I watched several older folks who sat at tables by themselves, staring ahead into the distance. I watched a young couple bring their grandmother in to eat and leave her at a table by themselves while they went off to do whatever they thought they needed to do. I routinely watch as couples sit together at a table, each wrapped up in whatever is on the screen in front of them rather than the person sitting with them. And I began to wonder what might happen if we took the risk to reach across the aisle, sit with or at least talk to someone who is also by themselves, and dare to risk a new friendship?

I've written about it before in this blog, but I saw that happen in a Starbucks a few years ago. Three men, all rather out of step with the mainstream, who eventually took that risk, found each other and began having regular coffee together. I see it happen in church, where people who might not have ever met in any other way, come together around the common bond of faith in Jesus Christ and become unlikely companions.

As an introvert, there are times I need to be alone. I understand being alone, needing to recharge. But being alone and being isolated are two different things. Do we really want to be the person the Teacher is describing: the one who falls and has no one to help them up? Cultivate connections. Put down the phone. Talk to someone.