But Thine

After writing Monday's blog, which was supposed to be just a "one-shot," I can't quit thinking about the covenant prayer. I wonder if there's more here for us to explore. Perhaps, first, for those unfamiliar with the prayer, I should reprint it here.

I am no longer my own, but thine.
Put me to what thou wilt, rank me with whom thou wilt.
Put me to doing, put me to suffering.
Let me be employed for thee, or laid aside for thee.
Let me have all things, let me have nothing.
I freely and heartily yield all things to thy pleasure and disposal.
And now, O glorious and blessed God,
Father, Son and Holy Spirit,
Thou art mine and I am thine.
So be it.
And the covenant which I have made on earth,
Let it be ratified in heaven.
Amen.

It's a rather intense prayer, if you really pray it and don't just "read the words." But the "intense" tone of the prayer is set in the very first line (which is repeated again near the end): "I am no longer my own, but thine." When we pray that, when we say that, when we sing that...is it true?

I am no longer my own... Ownership is huge for us. People file litigation over who owns what--and even sometimes over who owned what when. Relationships have been damaged or terminated over ownership. Even as small children, we're concerned with ownership; that's why we don't want to share our toys. "Mine!"

But even if we "own" nothing else in this world, we think we "own" ourselves. "I have the right to determine my destiny...my future...what I will do...where I will go. I don't need or want anyone else's rules to control me!" The famous poem "Invictus" ends with these two bold declarations: "I am the master of my fate / I am the captain of my soul."

And yet, Wesley dares to suggest in this prayer that all of that is simply not true. I am no longer my own. I am not the owner of my life, my soul. Someone else is. No matter how independent I think I am, no matter how much I think I have the final say, there is someone else who actually does. Someone bigger than me. Someone who knows more than me. I am no longer my own, I pray...but thine. I am God's. I belong to him. Jesus paid the price on the cross and bought me back from slavery to sin and death. I am no longer my own, but thine. I am his.

This is, of course, basically the prayer Jesus prayed in Gethsemane. "Not my will, but thine be done." On the night before his crucifixion, Jesus begged the Father to take the "cup" of crucifixion away from him. In an agonizing night of prayer, literally minutes before his arrest, he surrendered his will to the Father. I am no longer my own, but thine. If this is the prayer of Jesus, ought it not be our prayer as well?

Rather than being binding or constricting, that truth actually brings me freedom. One reason I don't stress and worry about this upcoming election, for instance, is that I am no longer my own, but his. Yes, I have definite opinions and who I think ought (and ought not) occupy the White House. Yes, I pray for the elections. But ultimately, I am in God's hands and I know no matter what happens on November 8, God will still be on the throne.

There are countless other smaller (and bigger) life situations where this simple truth makes a profound (world-shaking) difference. I am no longer my own, but thine. I belong to God, and he is watching over me.