What Love Is

"This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters. If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person? Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth" (1 John 3:16-18).

John has a theme that, if you're reading his letters or his Gospel, is difficult not to notice. He repeats it, like a percussionist beating a steady rhythm on a bass drum. Boom - boom - boom... "Love one another" - "Love one another" - "Love one another." It's said that, near the end of his life, when he would preach, he would simply repeat that three-word phrase over and over: "Love one another, love one another, love one another." It's a simple, yet profound, calling, and for John, it distills the essence of the Gospel. In other words, if we could just get THIS, we would have the Gospel.

But I wonder if he doesn't suspect that we won't get it. It's harder to do than to say. It's easier to say we love everyone than to actually love them, and John knows it. Because this, he says, is what love is: laying down your life for someone. This, John says, is what love looks like: Jesus, on a cross, giving his life for the salvation of the world. Someone giving up what is most precious for the sake of someone else.

That's not how we usually think of love. That's not what all the Hallmark cards and the romance novels and movies say. Love, for many in our culture, equates with physical attraction and warm fuzzy feelings and hearts and flowers and chocolates and being swept off your feet. Love is all about how YOU affect ME, how YOU make ME feel. Love is, in many ways for people today, a responsibility I place on you. And so we end up with marriage vows that promise to love someone "as long as I feel it" rather than "to death do us part."

John, because of his experience with and of Jesus, has a deeper and broader definition of love. Love is sacrifice. Love is being willing to lay down your life for another (Jesus told him this in John 15:13).

But then, John digs even deeper and includes a part of a definition of love that, honestly for our culture, might hurt even more. He suggests that love looks like paying attention to those who are in need. He even questions if we really have God's love in us if we're not willing to see those in need, even to share what we have, especially if we have been blessed with a lot.

So what do we do when we see him standing there, outside of Wal-Mart holding a sign that says, "Will work for food"? Or "Homeless, Hungry, God bless you!" Or any number of variations on that same theme? I confess to my cynicism; I've been a pastor and dealing with these sorts of issues long enough that I'm usually expecting a con. So I rationalize....there are places folks can get help. If they're not connecting with community resources, why should I help them? And on it goes, as I look straight at the light, begging it to change so I can go.

Okay, so yes, there are resources. There are places people can get the help they need. As churches, we can do more together than we can individually. All of that is true. So the question that comes back to me is this: because those things are so, what am I doing to support those resources? If I won't give of what I have directly to the person holding the sign (and there, I think, good reasons not to in today's world), am I helping the agencies and places that do provide assistance? Am I giving to them, volunteering to work for them? (Notice, what John asks for us to do is SOMETHING, a deed of love, showing pity on those in need. He doesn't say we have to give money to every person asking for it. But our love must take action.)

And more than that—am I loving the person who stands there in need? What is my attitude toward them?

I have a long way to go. And John keeps whispering in the back of my mind, "Love one another. Love one another. Love one another."