Heart Journey: Three Months

Well, Friday came and went and it may say something about how used to the "new normal" I am becoming that I missed blogging about it. Friday was the three-month anniversary of my heart surgery, and, of course, the irony is that the weather was so bad rehab was closed so I couldn't exercise. Today, when I returned to rehab, I noticed a difference. I've become accustomed to the exercise and the routine. I actually look forward to it even though it's hard because I know the "hard" is making me better.

So, after three months, I am close to "back to normal." My bloodwork came back within the normal or acceptable range on the last check, so the blood thinner seems to be balanced at this point. That means I don't have to get "stuck" again until February 1, a fact for which I am very thankful. I still have scars on the inside of both elbows from my stay in the hospital where I was "stuck" repeatedly.

I am feeling better. I am still bothered by the incessant (noisy) clicking of my valve, and though people tell me I'll get used to it, I wonder if I ever will. For someone as easily distractible like me, prayer is difficult when there is the constant clicking. Once I hear it, it's hard if not impossible not to hear it and not to focus on it. It is a reminder, however, of my weakness (well, one of them anyway), and of my need to constantly rely upon my Lord and God. So, like Paul, I am trying to look on this clicking as my "thorn in the flesh," something that has come along to remind me of God's direct word to Paul: "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." And, with Paul, I want to say, "Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me" (2 Corinthians 12:9). I'm not to the point yet that he was, of rejoicing in my weakness, but I'm trying to get there. And I am grateful.

Three months in, the new normal is taking effect. I am back to preaching, back to leading, back to meetings and office work and visiting and all the things that make up modern pastoral ministry. I'm still cautious as to what I lift or move, still trying to adapt my diet (snacks are impossible when you can't eat salt, sugar or green vegetables), and in the middle of it all, still glad to be here. Thank you again for your prayers, support, love and encouragement. I couldn't have done it without all of you.