864

I have been alive nearly the same length of time as the United Methodist Church has existed. Most folks think it's been around a lot longer, but the United Methodist Church actually came into existence in 1968, a few months after I was born. There were several predecessors, and what we now know as the UMC is made up of many different streams of mergers and break-ups. Now, 51 years into this great experiment, we face yet another turning point.

At the end of this week, 864 delegates from around the world will gather in St. Louis to discuss the future of the UMC. They will be debating many petitions and proposals around the issue of human sexuality, though everyone knows and admits that those issues really aren't our problem. The challenge we face is how we live together (or can we?) in the face of often widely divergent views on theology, Biblical interpretation and social issues. It's not just about sex. It's not just about homosexuality. It's bigger than any of that.

There are lots and lots and lots of blogs, papers, emails and even books out there that claim to "solve" the problems, or at least address them. There are many groups speaking (loudly) on all sides of the issues. I am not going to even come close to claiming to have an answer here. I've been praying for this for years, and now here we are. The future of the denomination—and my future—may very well be determined by 864 people in St. Louis over four days this weekend.

Unlike some of the more congregational churches, we haven't been able to just "take our toys and go home" if we disagree or are upset. We are connectional; we are bound together (spiritually AND legally). And that's been a good thing, for the most part. I appreciate the support, encouragement and, yes, connection I have with my colleagues, even those I disagree with on certain issues. I have found strength in diversity and sometimes I've been frustrated (even angry) by the actions of a few. I've heard some say that we clergy are only worried about our job security and our pensions. Well, let's be honest—there's a level of truth to that, as there is for anyone who is working and providing for their families. Though being a pastor is more than a job, it is my job. So we worry about that as much as anyone whose job might be on the line does. But for me, it's more than that. It's a family squabble that is breaking my heart and the hearts of many others. I love my church; I love the UMC and I love the people of the UMC.

So, I wait here in Terre Haute for the actions of 864 people. I will probably watch the live stream as much as possible. I will pray and hope and most of all focus on the fact that my future is not really in the hands of 864 people. It's in the hands of the 1 who is Lord of all.

Whether you're United Methodist or not, I'd appreciate your prayers for us as we go through this family fight, for God's will to be done, and for us to move forward with our mission of making disciples of Jesus Christ for the transformation of the world.