Sad Face

"Frustration is better than laughter, because a sad face is good for the heart" (Ecclesiastes 7:3).

When I read this verse, I have to wonder: what happened that the Teacher is so down? Why in the world would he say such a thing? Isn't it true that a happy face would be better? Don't we crave happiness?

But think with me about some scenarios that I have actually encountered (though details have been altered) when a happy face was so inappropriate...

• A family finds themselves in chaos when a legal charge is leveled at them. They don't recall doing what they are accused of, and when they go to talk to their best friends about the situation, it's laughed off. "Oh, that's hysterical that this happened to you!" was the general gist of the response. 
• A woman goes through the grief of losing a spouse and, in a very short amount of time is told, "Aren't you past your grief yet? You need to get on with your life. Get out there and date someone!"
• A man is hurt by the actions of others and when he tries to approach them about it, he is told he shouldn't have been so hurt. "But I was," he says, to which his friends respond, "Well, that's not my problem. Just smile and get over it."
• Or what about the inappropriate, "meant-to-be-helpful" things said at the side of a casket? "God needed another angel." "He's in a better place." "She looks so good!" Better to say nothing at all.

I could go on...but hopefully I don't have to. I think what the Teacher is getting at here is that being honest with where life has taken you is "good" (or we might say "healthy") for the heart. It's better for us to be able to deal with difficulties rather than have people throw "happy face" emojis at us. Life is not an easy ride. Life is hard. Life is difficult. As we read earlier in the book, there are times for happiness and times for grief. Being honest with where we are, and allowing others to process what they need to process on their own time, is actually a sign of a healthy relationship.

There are times of joy. There are times of "happy face." But there are also times when the best thing for our heart, the most healing thing for our soul, is a sad face. It's okay. "Weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning" (Psalm 30:5). Joy will come, but sometimes the best (or even only) path to joy leads through a :(.