3:45 a.m., Captain Kirk and Job
So when you wake up at 3:45 a.m., what do you think about?
I think about what I'm going to post in my blog. Odd, I know. And sometimes I also think about bad movies. Which is what has led us to this post...a blog post that starts with a line from a bad movie.
It's no secret that I'm a huge Star Trek fan. Having said that, I'm not one who thinks everything that comes out with that label is gold. In fact, I clearly remember going to see what is, perhaps, the worst of the movies, Star Trek V: The Final Frontier. I desperately wanted to like it. After all, Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home had been Cathy's and my first date. (Yeah, I know...but I figured she ought to know what she's getting into!) But I couldn't get into V. Sitting there in the dark theater, in days when we didn't have much extra spending money, I couldn't help but wonder if I had wasted some of what little we had to see a really bad movie.
What brought all of this to mind at 3:45 a.m. is one line that, for whatever reason, worked itself into my brain. I have been struggling with my voice for a little over two months now, and ever since finally visiting a doctor on Friday, my throat has hurt badly. I couldn't help but think that I was better off before I went to the doctor! Before, it was just hoarseness. Now, it's hoarseness plus pain. And as I lay in bed at 3:45 a.m. frustrated that I was in pain, that line from Star Trek V came back to me.
"I need my pain!"
That line comes from Captain Kirk, and the context isn't really all that important, except to know that a "healer" is trying to take away each character's internal regrets, pain, failures, etc. and Kirk says no to the offer. He believes that it's his pain that makes him who he is. The regrets, the mistakes, the failures, the things that should have gone one way and went another...all of those things shape who we are and how we live. Hard as it is sometimes to deal with, part of the human condition is pain.
Not necessarily physical pain like I have in my throat. But "pain" in the sense of all the challenges and the way we face them. Character is shaped in those moments of trial. Who we are shows itself in times when we face difficulty.
No one in the Bible shows that more than Job in the Old Testament. After losing everything, including his good health and his family and his fortune, Job is reduced to being a broken man sitting on a pile of ashes. His wife comes to him and tells him he should just curse God and die. (For better or worse, really?) He calls her a foolish woman (not a great marriage builder) because at that moment she is. "Should we accept good from God and not trouble?" We the readers know that it's Satan who has brought the trouble, albeit with God's permission. So Job is right. In essence, he's there with Captain Kirk: "I need my pain." This is somehow shaping me to be a better person. I don't know how yet. But it will. Later on, Job sings confidently that he knows he will see his redeemer and stand with him on the last day. That line alone, when sung in the midst of The Messiah, has brought hope to millions upon millions of people.
No, I don't think God sent my throat pain, nor do I think he woke me up at 3:45 a.m. But I do believe God is using even this to shape me—perhaps into a more compassionate person, perhaps into someone who listens better, perhaps into someone who takes better care of himself. The pain is there for a reason. What I do with it is up to me.
And now, if you're interested, here's the scene from Star Trek V.
I think about what I'm going to post in my blog. Odd, I know. And sometimes I also think about bad movies. Which is what has led us to this post...a blog post that starts with a line from a bad movie.
It's no secret that I'm a huge Star Trek fan. Having said that, I'm not one who thinks everything that comes out with that label is gold. In fact, I clearly remember going to see what is, perhaps, the worst of the movies, Star Trek V: The Final Frontier. I desperately wanted to like it. After all, Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home had been Cathy's and my first date. (Yeah, I know...but I figured she ought to know what she's getting into!) But I couldn't get into V. Sitting there in the dark theater, in days when we didn't have much extra spending money, I couldn't help but wonder if I had wasted some of what little we had to see a really bad movie.
What brought all of this to mind at 3:45 a.m. is one line that, for whatever reason, worked itself into my brain. I have been struggling with my voice for a little over two months now, and ever since finally visiting a doctor on Friday, my throat has hurt badly. I couldn't help but think that I was better off before I went to the doctor! Before, it was just hoarseness. Now, it's hoarseness plus pain. And as I lay in bed at 3:45 a.m. frustrated that I was in pain, that line from Star Trek V came back to me.
"I need my pain!"
That line comes from Captain Kirk, and the context isn't really all that important, except to know that a "healer" is trying to take away each character's internal regrets, pain, failures, etc. and Kirk says no to the offer. He believes that it's his pain that makes him who he is. The regrets, the mistakes, the failures, the things that should have gone one way and went another...all of those things shape who we are and how we live. Hard as it is sometimes to deal with, part of the human condition is pain.
Not necessarily physical pain like I have in my throat. But "pain" in the sense of all the challenges and the way we face them. Character is shaped in those moments of trial. Who we are shows itself in times when we face difficulty.
No one in the Bible shows that more than Job in the Old Testament. After losing everything, including his good health and his family and his fortune, Job is reduced to being a broken man sitting on a pile of ashes. His wife comes to him and tells him he should just curse God and die. (For better or worse, really?) He calls her a foolish woman (not a great marriage builder) because at that moment she is. "Should we accept good from God and not trouble?" We the readers know that it's Satan who has brought the trouble, albeit with God's permission. So Job is right. In essence, he's there with Captain Kirk: "I need my pain." This is somehow shaping me to be a better person. I don't know how yet. But it will. Later on, Job sings confidently that he knows he will see his redeemer and stand with him on the last day. That line alone, when sung in the midst of The Messiah, has brought hope to millions upon millions of people.
No, I don't think God sent my throat pain, nor do I think he woke me up at 3:45 a.m. But I do believe God is using even this to shape me—perhaps into a more compassionate person, perhaps into someone who listens better, perhaps into someone who takes better care of himself. The pain is there for a reason. What I do with it is up to me.
And now, if you're interested, here's the scene from Star Trek V.
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