Heart Journey: One Month

"Are you worried? Nervous? Scared? Anxious?"

I've been asked these and many other questions in the last couple of weeks, and to tell you the truth, it has me wondering if I should be! But I've been to this rodeo before, and I know mostly what to expect. Honestly, as I've said here before, I am not concerned about the surgery. I have complete confidence in my surgeons and in the hospital, and more than that, I have absolute confidence in a God who has never failed me.

What I'm preparing mentally and emotionally for more than the actual surgery is the recovery. I'm older now than the last time, and though medical technology has changed, the body's ability to heal has not. It still takes time, and I'm rather impatient. I like to work. I enjoy being busy. Forced rest and recuperation is not something that comes naturally to me—especially when I'm not feeling well. So the recovery is the part that makes me anxious and all the other adjectives.

But, again, God has not failed me yet and he will not now. I believe he will have something for me in this that I couldn't get any other way. I've shared in sermons and other places before that the first surgery stay in the hospital made me, I believe, a better pastor because I came to understand what it's like to be in that bed for hours on end, days on end. Before, I was always in a hurry to get hospital visits done as quickly as possible, check them off the list and move on. After, I began to see the vital importance of conversation and just having someone show up. So I don't know what God will teach me this time, but I do believe he will have something for me.

So here's where I am in the process. On Thursday of this week, I will have a heart catheterization as a preparatory test for the surgery. I have had and will have more blood work done. And I am frantically trying to get all the work done before that needs to be done. Plus, in the middle of all that, I have three conferences I am attending. Thank God for laptops! Then, one month from today, I will report to Methodist Hospital and entrust everything that comes to God. In reality, that's all any of us can do on any day.

Thank you to all who have expressed concern, who have offered prayer, who have offered help. We are blessed, and we appreciate you all.