Do I Break Confidence?

Full question: Do I confidentially pass on to others what was told to me in confidence?

Read Proverbs 11:11-13.

A trustworthy person keeps a secret. So says the writer of Proverbs, the wisdom writer. And we know that’s true because we’ve all had occasion when a secret shared was shared again. The writer of Proverbs uses the right word to describe such a happening: “a gossip betrays a confidence.”

Betrayal. It’s a nasty word and an even nastier experience. To have something you entrusted to another person broadcast, shared, used against you...I do not know if there is a worse feeling.

So the question today is really this, according to Proverbs: am I a gossip? We wouldn’t choose that word to describe ourselves, but that’s what it is if we betray a friend, if we break a confidence. Trust broken is not easily restored. When entrusted with a confidence, do we want to be a friend or do we want to be a gossip? The choice really is as stark as that.

Let me say, however, that there are times when it is not right for someone to ask you to keep a confidence. If there are thoughts or discussion of suicide or if there is physical abuse happening, you are only loving the other person if you do break confidence. They should not ask you to keep such a secret, and for some of us, there are laws that mandate such reporting. If someone’s life is on the line, break confidence. You might lose a friend, but you will in all likelihood save a life.