Is My Conscience Uneasy?

The full question: Do I insist upon doing something about which my conscience is uneasy?

Read Philippians 4:4-9.

An uneasy conscience affects our whole being, but there are two ways I have experienced such a sensation. In both, I believe, the Holy Spirit is active: in one way, for good, and in another way, to prevent evil.

There have been times when I have been presented with two choices. One seems easy and one seems hard. While the easier choice looks good on the surface, it's clear that the harder choice will result in longer-term good or satisfaction. My natural inclination (and yours, too, I'm willing to bet) is to take the easier route. But the Holy Spirit, working through what we call the conscience, will push us toward the harder choice, the more difficult decision, the better result. In this case, it's not that I insist on doing something wrong. It's the Spirit insisting on doing something hard and holy.

But the choice Wesley is getting at in this question is the other time when I find myself wrestling with my conscience. It's those times when we have two (or more) choices, one which will honor God and another which will give us (momentary) pleasure. A simple, yet challenging, example might be this: since my heart surgery, I have had to alter the way I eat and the way I take care of myself. A friend of mine and I were on the treadmill (another alteration!) a few weeks ago chatting about life, and I commented that we sounded like a couple of grumpy old men, complaining about all the things we couldn't eat. But the joyous temptations of salt, fat, sugar and so on are always there. It's nearly impossible to eat anything without those additives today! And there are times when that donut looks and sounds so good. Everything in me knows that I shouldn't have it, and yet honestly there are times I give in. I know it's not good for me, but it sure tastes good in the moment.

On a much more serious level are those choices which involve ethical questions. Do I lie on my taxes? Do I take the money that is offered to me "under the table"? Do I choose to do what is legal even if it isn't ethical or right? Do I send an email rather than talk to that friend because it's easier for me? Do I give into that temptation of a good-looking co-worker when things at home are difficult? Of course, there's a great difference between adultery and Boston cream, and yet in both cases, the Spirit has tried to warn us away from what will be dangerous for us—for you, for me.

Do I insist upon doing anything about which my conscience is uneasy? Yes, sometimes. But, by the grace of God, I am doing so less than I used to. Today, by his strength, I will be more in tune with the voice of the Holy Spirit and the prompting of Jesus than I was yesterday. And tomorrow, more than today.